Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in lockedjew's LiveJournal:

Sunday, December 18th, 2005
9:15 pm	Pre-New Year's Resolution Ok, I have resolved that I will update this journal at least once a week for two months. If it gets really tiresome and/or if I feel like I am forcing myself to write, I will stop updating regularly by the end of February. If it is fun/enjoyable/useful, I will keep updating. This weekend was really fun and eventful, which is probably why I felt like updating and making this resolution. Friday day - boring, all my teachers were in school except for Trucillo. When I got home, I spent like 25 minutes on math and then listened to music and otherwise did nothing productive until like 5:30. Friday night - Winter Ball! It was really quite fun, after the first 40 minutes which totally sucked. Overall an enjoyable evening. Sad that Chris got rejected from Yale - absurd actually, how could he be rejected!?!?! - and Amanda was rejected too, so sadness. But Chris was over it really quickly and I think Amanda was feeling better by the end of the evening, so happiness. Yea and dancing with people was fun, and then I helped people pull strings of Xmas lights off the walls. Saturday day - Woke up early (for a weekend - 830ish) and went to Synagogue. Services were a bit long because there was this little kid like 8-10 years old who announced his Hebrew name, and there was a ceremony for that. Also, it was the anniversary of a pair of B'nai Mitvah, so there were a bunch of different Torah readers, and that took time. When we got home, mom went right out again to meet with the Editor of the Temple Newsletter. She was gone maybe 3 1/2 - 4 hours. I did my bio homework and then wasted away watching TV. Saturday night - BLUE FRINGE concert @ New Rochelle!! Woot this was a lot of fun. I bought a CD, which I'm listening to right now, because I liked them a lot. Very cool. And seeing friends is always very exciting. I was really surprised at how many non-USY people were at the concert though. I guess they were mostly Beth El members, but still it was really impressive. And there were these two little girls on the side who were playing volleyball with one of the balloons and it was so cute!! Yea. Got back to Sam's at like 11:00, and thence home (mom drove, needed the car during the evening). Sunday day - woke up even earlier (730) to go into the city with mom and Alexis and mom's friend Tamara (librarian @ Briarcliff HS). Tamara had wanted to show Alexis some of the city sites and we all walked around 5th Avenue looking at the windows. Twas fun. We had to run to get back to our train on time, but get back we did, so no worries. I did absolutely nothign since getting back home at like 2:20. Except put up 3 laundries. Very fun weekend though. Hope everybody enjoyed theirs' as much. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Blue Fringe (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 6th, 2004
7:00 pm	You Are a Dreaming Soul Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul What Kind of Soul Are You? (Comment on this)
Friday, November 12th, 2004
4:56 pm	How much life sucks Life sucks so much. Seb, I'm gonna kill you. Your fucking snow storm got my debate tournament canceled. Because there was a little snow and sleet for you to ski in, a debate tournament with almost 500 competitors got canceled. Skiing should be made illegal. Goddammit, we all spent hours every day this past week preparing to destroy everyone at this tournament, and now it's all wasted because the evidence will all be too old by Ohio Valley and Hen Hud. I feel like crawling into bed, curling into a fetal position, and crying myself to sleep. Life FUCKING SUCKS. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Herman's Hermits: End of the World (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 16th, 2004
9:59 pm	Debating highs and lows Pam and I were debating at Bronks HS of Science this weekend, and we were 1-2 on Friday b/c the judge in our 1st round couldn't flow theory, and I screwed up my 2ac in our 2nd round, and we destroyed the Lex team we hit 3rd round. So we were like 35th in a pool when we went home yesterday night, and it only clears to octofinals (the top 16 teams). So then we rolled through our two rounds this morning and we both got good speaks, especially Pam, and we were gonna be on the verge of getting into elims YAY!!!!! But alas, there was divine intervention against Lakeland debate today. It had to be. We were the 17th team in the pool, so we missed breaking by like half a speaker point. And Jason and Jackie cleared and dropped in octos because the stupid judges didn't understand ontology. And Gutterson and Kesselman flipped neg against Spencer and Ian from Edgemont, so no big deal, pushover team, and Alex is totally owning them up on the politics debate after the 1ar. He preps his 2nr for like 5 minutes (until time runs out), and then as he is moving his laptop up to where he's speaking from, the system fucking crashes and he has to do a stand-up 2nr without any flows!!!! WTF!!! Needless to say, they dropped, but impressively, they managed to pick up 1 of the 3 ballots, so must have been a kick-ass 2nr, considering. So we were half a speak away, Jackie's judges didn't understand ontology, which is basically the easiest thing to understand of any kritik argument, and Alex's laptop fucking dies as he goes to give his 2nr. SHIT!!! It was a rough day. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: The Beattles: Norwegian Wood (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
5:19 pm	Yay! I just got off the phone after a 20 minute conversation with Adina, in which she talked about how she was really worried about her debate because she hadn't had a chance to call me over the weekend and ask for help, but then she did really well. She and her partner (who she was ranting about how annoying she is) won 46-4, which I don't exactly understand, because she is in an IB program with like 20 people in a class, but oh well. Yea, but more importantly she definitely was happy that I called and wanted to talk about our daily lives and stuff, so I am certain that I can call her just to chill or bitch or whatever. Yay!! Thanks so much to Seb and Grayson and Kate, without you guys I would have had nowhere near enough courage to do this. And now Grayson is going through serious shit, and I haven't gotten to ask her about it, I don't even really know whats going on. I hope there's something I can do to help..... Current Mood: ecstatic (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 30th, 2004
7:02 pm	Too much grokking, I need time sense!! Wow, I need to learn what all of these are now! How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards. 1. Unitarian Universalism (100%) 2. Secular Humanism (97%) 3. Liberal Quakers (89%) 4. Theravada Buddhism (79%) 5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (79%) 6. Neo-Pagan (75%) 7. Nontheist (71%) 8. New Age (59%) 9. Mahayana Buddhism (57%) 10. Taoism (55%) 11. Orthodox Quaker (52%) 12. Reform Judaism (52%) 13. Bahá'í Faith (51%) 14. Jainism (44%) 15. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (42%) 16. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (40%) 17. New Thought (39%) 18. Scientology (39%) 19. Sikhism (39%) 20. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (34%) 21. Hinduism (29%) 22. Jehovah's Witness (28%) 23. Islam (26%) 24. Orthodox Judaism (26%) 25. Seventh Day Adventist (26%) 26. Eastern Orthodox (15%) 27. Roman Catholic (15%) Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
6:38 pm	Much to grok; until fullness, waiting is Lizzy and I had this really interesting discussion on religion/philosophy!! Look: lockedjew: do u believe in evolution? lockedjew: b/c ur conversation w/ sebbie makes it sound as tho u think that it didnt happen on its own ESharpScore: well i think that people evolved into people for a reason lockedjew: ie ESharpScore: wut? ESharpScore: well i dunno wut the reason is lockedjew: who did the reasoning? ESharpScore: god lockedjew: so u believe in evolution or no? ESharpScore: yes bc there is scientific evidence lockedjew: how do you resolve the contradiction between taht and a belief in divine creation? lockedjew: *that ESharpScore: bc i dont believe that the bible is word for word correct plus, there was no written language when the earth was created, and everything was word of mouth b4 someone finally wrote it down ESharpScore: i think that eveything is part of gods plan. including the 'big bang' and evolution ESharpScore: i think the bible is kind of more metaphorical that 100% accurate lockedjew: i c lockedjew: thats interesting lockedjew: y does god use evolution if he could just create us right away? ESharpScore: bc maybe as evolution was occurring, all of the species had an impact on his plan lockedjew: meaning? ESharpScore: i dont know maybe in the future, everything will all tie together somehow ESharpScore: i dunno this is just what i think lockedjew: like, what do u mean by 'had an impact on his plan'? ESharpScore: well at the times that they were on earth there was no recorded history, so we dont really know exactly what went on except that they were hunter-gatherers and the tools they had ESharpScore: but what if it was more than that? what if there society was much more complex, but something happened to destroy as they died off? evolution eliminated their species, so maybe as time went on, their way of life was also destroyed by the species after them lockedjew: u no what annoys me about theologicians like u? lockedjew: no offense, beliefs is beliefs and w/e lockedjew: but u say, 'fine, i agree w/ everything ur saying, but god would have changed it if he wanted to' lockedjew: it makes comparing ideas impossible lockedjew: b/c u say 'yes ur right, with this 1 thing added in that its a big plan of god' ESharpScore: well asked why god didnt just make humans in the first place so im saying that maybe evolution is necessary for whatever outcome he's looking for lockedjew: right, ok ESharpScore: and no matter what u or anyone else says, no one can completely prove me wrong bc no one knows for sure what happened lockedjew: right, but the reason noone can prove you wrong is b/c u say science is right but science is created by god lockedjew: u subsume anything i say to prove u wrong ESharpScore: well no bc i dont think that god interferes with stuff like ur making it seem like i do. i think that god started stuff off for us, and although he knows the outcome, hes letting us get there ourselves. its not like im underminding science lockedjew: is there anything i can say where you dont say 'yes thats true, but it was gods initial foresight that caused that' lockedjew: ? ESharpScore: no bc according to christianity and probably judiasm as well, god is behind everything. like i think that he started stuff off like with the big bang, but since then everything has just run its course. hes there now just to help us lockedjew: help us? lockedjew: doesnt that mean interfere? ESharpScore: no bc i dont mean help like with the species. i mean help as in prayer lockedjew: o, like comfort our souls lockedjew: k ESharpScore: yeah lockedjew: so do u believe in the biblical prophets? lockedjew: isnt that 'interference'? ESharpScore: well i dont really believe that much in the biblical prophets. i think that most stories in the bible are just like made up to give us hope and stuff and show us how to lead good lives. lockedjew: jesus? ESharpScore: i believe in jesus lockedjew: isnt that interference? ESharpScore: not really. thats more in the way of comforting our souls with the whole forgiveness of sins thing ESharpScore: its not like jesus forced anyone to be christian lockedjew: ok, true lockedjew: that makes sense ESharpScore: ibelieve that there were some biblical prophets but they didnt make a significant enough impact on the species to consider them "interfering" they were simply there to remind others of god. lockedjew: ok lockedjew: so god didnt interfere w/ stuff lockedjew: but thats b/c he saw stuff was gonna happen lockedjew: and it was part of his plan, right? ESharpScore: yeah i think everything happens for a reason lockedjew: so that makes, say, the armenian genocide and the holocaust divinely inspired? ESharpScore: no i think that there are always going to be crazy people that do stupid things. they happen so we can learn from the moronic things that others do ESharpScore: people arent perfect bc that would be pointless. we might as well all just live in heaven already. god's giving us a choice to follow his ways, or go to hell lockedjew: ok, but doesnt the occurence of the holocaust after armenia, and the occurence of rwanda after polpot in cambodia prove that we arent learning? lockedjew: ie doesnt that disprove ur argument? lockedjew: or more to the point, why doesnt it? ESharpScore: it proves that people are still stupid and imperfect. there will always be people who are like yeah well i could do that better and do something stupid right after someone else does ESharpScore: and those people obviously didnt learn and are doomed to an eternity in hell lockedjew: who goes to hell? ESharpScore: people like hitler and murderers and such lockedjew: define 'and such' ESharpScore: that dont follow what god told us specifically not to do lockedjew: so only ppl who sin by commision, but not by omission ESharpScore: steal, etc 10 commandments that sort of thing ESharpScore: what do u mean by that lockedjew: like, god told us not to murder lockedjew: and he also told us to pray daily lockedjew: does the guy who doesnt pray daily go to hell? lockedjew: b/c that disobeys god ESharpScore: no bc i think that leading a godly life is good enough ESharpScore: u lead by example ESharpScore: and as for murderers and thieves and stuff, i believe that some of them can repent and be saved but only if they are truly remorseful and pay their debt to society. if they are repenting bc their afriad of hell then dont deserve gods grace lockedjew: what does 'pay their debt to society' mean? ESharpScore: jail, retribution lockedjew: ok lockedjew: what does 'truly remorseful' mean? lockedjew: ie, if i murder someone ESharpScore: they realize what they did was wrong and that they shouldnt have done it. they feel bad for those that they hurt along the way. lockedjew: and then feel compassion for the family and wish i hadnt done it ESharpScore: and they want to make things right ESharpScore: i think that to an extent u will be saved lockedjew: ok lockedjew: now, if im a polytheist (hindu, perhaps), does that still apply? ESharpScore: but like if u just go on killing rampages all the time and after each one ur like woah i shouldntve done that then u dont deserve to go to heaven ESharpScore: i think that all gods are the same ESharpScore: polytheists just think of god as a different one depending on what they're praying for. i tink that its the same god for all tho ESharpScore: so when we go to heaven there are people from all relgions there lockedjew: but doesnt 1 of the 10 commandments say 'u shall have no other gods besides me' or something 2 that effect? lockedjew: isnt thinking there are many gods an inherent contradiction with the commandments? ESharpScore: as i said i think the bible is metaphorical ESharpScore: by "no other gods" he means like dont worship like ur radio or something like that lockedjew: so that commandment means.... what? lockedjew: o, ok I need to think about this a lot, its a really good view of deism, if you want to believe in god. Current Mood: thoughtful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 26th, 2004
1:25 pm	A different piece of heaven Yesterday I figured out something really important, which is the verbalization of my views on religion and god and stuff. I don't believe in a traditional G-d, because I don't think it is possible to be both omnipotent and omniscient. If you know the future, you don't have any power at all, you just have to do it. Furthermore, evolution is a scientifically accurate theory to the extent that I do not believe in a biblical version of creation. Big bang, evolution, all that stuff is real. I am religious despite this because I believe that 1. religion teaches valuable lessons about morality and does provide valuable guidance for the spirit, and 2. even though prayer can't appease an omnipotent power to make the world better, religion provides community and positive thinking and that is valuable and can accomplish small 'miracles'. Yay!! And Seb, this is for you. As per my views on god, I don't believe we were created for any higher purpose or crap, I totally believe we evolved via speciation and natural selection. LIFE HAS NO MEANING. Our duration on a universal or even galactic scale is completely insignificant. Their is no reason that we are alive, it just happens. So we should do good things with our lives to help make sure that other people don't have to suffer because compassion is a the greatest mitzvah. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 12th, 2004
6:40 pm	getting started, sort of I should be doing debate work right now, but I really don't feel like it, I want to stay online in case Adina comes back from whatever she's been doing all weekend, so I'm writing this to fill up time. Like so many others, I got this account today so that I could read my friends' (particularly quantumstrings) secure entries, and I have no intention of keeping a journal. I might use it to vent feelings though, because it's good to do that. Or I might decide that that's being half-ass about it and really keep a journal. IDK. Adina, how come you aren't answering my email? It's only been like a week since I sent it. Why can't girls just say things outright 'Ben, that question made me uncomfortable' 'Ben, you're being obsessive, remember I don't finish my homework on schoolnights, I have no time to email you' instead of making boys guess?!?! It's so unfair!! Oh, darn. I can't think of anything else to say, guess I'll have to find a different way of wasting time. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: The Four Seasons: Ronnie (4 Comments |Comment on this)